It's August 10, 2009. Tomorrow, I'll be dressed like a mad scientist again for Halloween and next week, I'll be at the Jubilee Bar in the Poconos celebrating the New Year/Decade. Soon, the summer will be gone and I have yet to do a cannonball into someone's backyard pool and there has not been a legitimate Dodapalooza in the summer of 2009...
Let's all try our hardest to stretch these last few weeks of shorts and t-shirts out longer than my... a rubber band. Even though I burn like a Brazilian rain forest, I still consider myself to be tropical by nature. A few pairs of shorts, some flops, a bag of SPF 45 and a few coronas is all I need to survive. Therefore, my personal goal that I present to the public and to anyone that reads this is to be living in Southern California by the winter of 2015. Why 2015? Because that's the year Marty McFly travels to in Back to the Future Part II.
Summers used to fly by because grade school or another semester was always right around the corner; a constant countdown to the inevitable. I remember the last days of summer before going back to school vividly. It was painful to let go of cushy summer jobs like working at the Smithtown Landing Country Club Pool or camp counseling at Hidden Pond Park (I set a world record for saying the word, "Go" atop the slide at Landing with no injuries or fatalities). School meant the end of summer romances and the beginning of trumpet lessons with a side of locker combination.
So why are summers flying by? Maybe the Earth is spinning faster. Maybe the older you get, the more you have to accept the things you cannot change.
Come February, I may pull an 'Andy Dufrane' and fix up a boat off the Zihuatanejo coast.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Emails From An Asshole
http://dontevenreply.com
This is an A+ site. This guy messes with people who have created online ads and posts the exchange for people to see.
Here's a sample of what this site has to offer:
Operation: Soccer Escort
Posted at: 2009-08-07 09:03:54 | 83 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!
From Me to ************@comcast.net
Good afternoon.
My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.
If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.
Sincerely,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),
I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.
Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?
- Kate
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.
A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.
I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.
My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.
Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.
Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.
Let me know,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...
Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.
My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.
Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.
From Kate ******** to Me
Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.
(later, from another e-mail account)
From Nick Walken to Kate **********
Dear Kate,
I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.
When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.
You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.
If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.
Nick
From Kate ******** to Me
what in the hell...
This is an A+ site. This guy messes with people who have created online ads and posts the exchange for people to see.
Here's a sample of what this site has to offer:
Operation: Soccer Escort
Posted at: 2009-08-07 09:03:54 | 83 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!
From Me to ************@comcast.net
Good afternoon.
My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.
If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.
Sincerely,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),
I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.
Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?
- Kate
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.
A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.
I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.
My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.
Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.
Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.
Let me know,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...
Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.
My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.
Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.
From Kate ******** to Me
Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.
(later, from another e-mail account)
From Nick Walken to Kate **********
Dear Kate,
I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.
When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.
You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.
If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.
Nick
From Kate ******** to Me
what in the hell...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
R.I.P. Billy Mays
I saw a documentary about Billy Mays about a month ago on the discovery channel involving a series of days in which Mays was pitching products. One product was some shock absorbent gel which was so strong, he allowed a truck to run over his hand with no injury. That is some display and he will always have my respect. I'm also a big fan of the Sham-Wow guy, Vince Offer. The Slap-Chop commercial is one of my favorites. Here is an interview on the Adam Corolla Radio Show with Mays speaking about Vince "Sham-Wow" Offer.
Liam Neeson's wife Natasha Richardson died after falling on a bunny slope. Mays died after a harsh landing at an airport. Take my advice: protect your domes people. One more of these whacky deaths, we'll need a 16-hour-a-day helmet clause adopted to the United States Constitution.
Liam Neeson's wife Natasha Richardson died after falling on a bunny slope. Mays died after a harsh landing at an airport. Take my advice: protect your domes people. One more of these whacky deaths, we'll need a 16-hour-a-day helmet clause adopted to the United States Constitution.
Friday, June 12, 2009
The More Things Change
Michael Jackson has died. Here are my top 5 favorite MJ songs
5) Leave Me Alone
4) Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
3) Human Nature
2) The Way You Make Me Feel
1) Wanna Be Startin Something
But let's be honest with ourselves for a minute. This is a guy that was on trial twice for child molestation. Was it an elaborate scheme to get Jackson's loot or was he actual serving Jesus Juice in the Neverland Ranch? Either way, when the late Ed Bradley asks you on 60 Minutes whether it's okay to bring children into your bed, the answer is always, "No." Instead, Michael says, "Absolutely." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQwY4ll1Kfc&feature=related) Come on, Mikey Boy. With that said, every good party has a few MJ tracks in circulation. That's never been disputed.
Why the Rangers lost (no particular order)
-Because they are team full of solid players with no gamebreaker.
-Lundqvist cannot make every save and score every goal.
-Avery's antics in game 4 might have cost them game 5
-Donald Brashear is a talentless douchebag who broke Blair Betts' orbital bone in game 6
-2 shots on goal in the 3rd period of game 7 vs. the caps
I had the distinct pleasure of witnessing games 3 and 4 with my brother Ronaldo Da and Vincent Edward Taurassi. Before game 3, I get a text from Vin saying something along the lines of: "My sister went into labor, not sure if I'm going to make it to the game." As we all know, Lorraine Baines McSlermbo and Michael Q. McSlermbo were anxioiusly awaiting their first born.
Vin wound up coming to the game and hitching a ride back with yours truly to Stony Brook Hospital along with Dr. Cheryl Taurassi. It was on that car ride through a monsoon on a dreary 4/20 (!) night that the McDerrmott's welcomed a Leila on to Planet Earffffff.
A few quick notes on the Phish summer tour:
- The three shows I saw at Jones Beach were some of the best I have ever seen.
- I sold my Bonnaroo ticket after a long debate with my conscience.
- The new songs being debuted have been exciting to hear. The approaching album release with producer Steve Lillywhite is setting itself up to be full of future fan favorites.
-If anyone would like to download any of these shows go to http://shmedley.blogspot.com... He has a ton of live music and downloadable albums too. I recommend WinRAR to extract files.
Harmon's Wedding
I wanted to take this time to say congrats to Bryan "Christ" Harmon and his beautiful bride Soojin. I've known Bryan since he used to no-hit Little League baseball teams and I feel really bad about not being a part of this special day.
For Cavy
Vash has a new YouTube Intro for his channel that I thought you would appreciate.
Random Links
Still can't crack 70 word per minute
http://www.typeonline.co.uk/typingspeed.php
"Your speed was: 64wpm."
http://omegle.com
This is a pretty useless site that allows one on one chat with a randomly selected stranger somewhere on the globe. The chat log looks something like this:
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain..
You: You try...
Stranger: the snow doesnt grow, the arctic tends to glow
You: The life of the wife was ended by the knife
Stranger: the creep of the deep will sleep in the keep
You: Mini-Wheats are sweet when you're rolling crew deep
Stranger: that willow aint no pillow,
You: hahaha... good game. Peace.
or
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hello. Have you ever played smerce before?
Stranger: nope
You: because I have special
Stranger: special what?
You: Triple threat ladder match??
Stranger: yeah.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Useless and creepy. Check it out.
Some pics from Cape Cod and over the past few months
5) Leave Me Alone
4) Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
3) Human Nature
2) The Way You Make Me Feel
1) Wanna Be Startin Something
But let's be honest with ourselves for a minute. This is a guy that was on trial twice for child molestation. Was it an elaborate scheme to get Jackson's loot or was he actual serving Jesus Juice in the Neverland Ranch? Either way, when the late Ed Bradley asks you on 60 Minutes whether it's okay to bring children into your bed, the answer is always, "No." Instead, Michael says, "Absolutely." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQwY4ll1Kfc&feature=related) Come on, Mikey Boy. With that said, every good party has a few MJ tracks in circulation. That's never been disputed.
Why the Rangers lost (no particular order)
-Because they are team full of solid players with no gamebreaker.
-Lundqvist cannot make every save and score every goal.
-Avery's antics in game 4 might have cost them game 5
-Donald Brashear is a talentless douchebag who broke Blair Betts' orbital bone in game 6
-2 shots on goal in the 3rd period of game 7 vs. the caps
I had the distinct pleasure of witnessing games 3 and 4 with my brother Ronaldo Da and Vincent Edward Taurassi. Before game 3, I get a text from Vin saying something along the lines of: "My sister went into labor, not sure if I'm going to make it to the game." As we all know, Lorraine Baines McSlermbo and Michael Q. McSlermbo were anxioiusly awaiting their first born.
Vin wound up coming to the game and hitching a ride back with yours truly to Stony Brook Hospital along with Dr. Cheryl Taurassi. It was on that car ride through a monsoon on a dreary 4/20 (!) night that the McDerrmott's welcomed a Leila on to Planet Earffffff. A few quick notes on the Phish summer tour:
- The three shows I saw at Jones Beach were some of the best I have ever seen.
- I sold my Bonnaroo ticket after a long debate with my conscience.
- The new songs being debuted have been exciting to hear. The approaching album release with producer Steve Lillywhite is setting itself up to be full of future fan favorites.
-If anyone would like to download any of these shows go to http://shmedley.blogspot.com... He has a ton of live music and downloadable albums too. I recommend WinRAR to extract files.
Harmon's Wedding
I wanted to take this time to say congrats to Bryan "Christ" Harmon and his beautiful bride Soojin. I've known Bryan since he used to no-hit Little League baseball teams and I feel really bad about not being a part of this special day.
For Cavy
Vash has a new YouTube Intro for his channel that I thought you would appreciate.
Random Links
Still can't crack 70 word per minute
http://www.typeonline.co.uk/typingspeed.php
"Your speed was: 64wpm."
http://omegle.com
This is a pretty useless site that allows one on one chat with a randomly selected stranger somewhere on the globe. The chat log looks something like this:
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain..
You: You try...
Stranger: the snow doesnt grow, the arctic tends to glow
You: The life of the wife was ended by the knife
Stranger: the creep of the deep will sleep in the keep
You: Mini-Wheats are sweet when you're rolling crew deep
Stranger: that willow aint no pillow,
You: hahaha... good game. Peace.
or
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hello. Have you ever played smerce before?
Stranger: nope
You: because I have special
Stranger: special what?
You: Triple threat ladder match??
Stranger: yeah.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Useless and creepy. Check it out.
Some pics from Cape Cod and over the past few months
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
1.21 Gigawatts
It's not a Ferrari but it'll get the job done. It's sleek and zippy. It has pep and zazz. It's the 2009 Mazda 3 Hatchback; the new Doda whip. Honestly, that burgundy '03 Blazer with the big ugly tire hanging on the back had it coming. And it guzzled gasoline like a college kid (or Derek Downing) pounds beers. Enjoy these pictures...
Vin Villani, who runs the show at Smithtown Mazda obviously is a man of honor. He did a wonderful job and deserves a round of applause.
I also landed my first cover photo for the Times of Smithtown. It wasn't November 5th 1955; the day Marty went back to the future. The sixth of April, 2009, The New Jerusalem Church on Woodlawn Avenue was struck by lightning.
The crucifix and steeple were blown to bits emitting a voltage of 1.21 gigawatts throughout the house of God. Luckily, I just got back from the Newsday offices and had enough time to grab my camera. I sent the pics to Joe Darrow, the editor and chief of The Times of Smithtown. Enjoy the picture and the article here at this link: http://www.northshoreoflongisland.com/pdf/ts_040909w.pdf
April 14, 2009 was also the anniversary of the death of Kurt Cobain. A man who changed music forever and blazed a path for bands like Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots... Nirvana spawned a genre of music before our eyes the same way The Beatles did on Ed Sullivan 100 years ago. Unfortunately, Cobain was a junkie that didn't know how to deal with pain or empathy. For the past couple weeks, I have been dipping back into old albums like Dookie, Insomniac, Purple, Offspring's Smash, Unplugged in New York, Nevermind, In Utero etc. and realizing how ridiculously good they are. Weezer was also a favorite but I can't find those discs... RIP Kurt. It's better to burn out than fade away I guess. I mean I was never grunge but I can appreciate the contribution to music history. Actually, I'm still wearing some of the stuff I used to rock in the early nineties.
Can we talk about the New York Rangers for two and half seconds? Vegas gives the Blueshirts 30-1 odds of winning the Stanley Cup. Needless to say, they are a long shot to even reach the finals. What do the Rangers need to advance to AT LEAST the conference finals?
1. Hot goaltending. Henrik Lundqvist has to put on a show. Period.
2. Gomez/Callahan/Avery line has to produce. Gomez has 3 cups. If he wants 4, he will have to lead the way.
3. Special teams. The best penalty killers on the planet play for the New York Rangers. But their power play is a black hole of offense. They need to capitalize...pun intended.
I'm lucky enough to be going to games 3 and 4 with my brother and Vin Taurassi. Surely, I'll have more to say about their first round match up against the Washington Capitals.
Just a couple side notes:
1. I'm currently playing God of War II with Jon Lesch. Incredible game.
2. Brand new padded high traffic charcoal colored carpet for the lounge.
3. I'm now slated for June 2, 4 at Jones Beach for the Phish reunion tour. Not pumped about the venue but very excited about the shows.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Proximity God-Bless-You's
I stick with a more succinct ‘bless you’ response when faced with a neighboring sneeze. Why do I get offended when someone ignores my sneeze? Why do I get madder if someone is closer in proximity to a sneezer but neglects to say anything? Where does that leave me? There is a threshold when it comes to these automated responses. My threshold is a 15 foot radius. If you are sneezing in my radius, you can be damn well sure I will acknowledge it. Outside of that radius, you’re on your own. Thank you.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
What is Bob Doda doing? IV
Currently, I'm listening to Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel because my men's league ice hockey team just got bumped from the playoff picture for the third consecutive season. Knights hockey has no reached a new low, and I'm a little sad about it.
Anyway. Now that you're all in a good mood, I'll tell you about my new, exciting career. I'm working in the editorial newsroom at the Newsday offices in Melville. I'm working a 6 hour day; imputing information from press releases that wind up in the part II "Explore Long Island" section of the paper and on the Newsday website. At the same time, I still have the Futurecorps articles published bi-weekly...sometimes tri-weekly. This is not exactly what I want to do at Newsday. I know I can do much more, but my foot is literally in the door. Start small, think big. Last year at this time, I was pushing amalgam separators (don't ask) to dentists. Now, I'm on my way to being the next Walter Cronkite.
Due to labor laws, I was not able to keep my job at News 12 Interactive because Cablevision is the parent company of both entities. So, it was either temp at News 12 or get guaranteed hours at Newsday. I don't think I had much of a choice.
So, I'm still at home. Cliche basement room/lounge and three squares a day. Everyone I know is moving in with their boyfriend/girlfriends and if you're Greg Scandariato, you're asking long-time girlfriend Emily for her hand in marriage. My best friend on the planet, who I need to see more of, is tying the knot. Same goof ball, new responsibilities. Dogwood STAND UP. I guess I'm just not ready to make these commitments.
At this point, I'm just glad the winter is over. Is there anything worse than being cold? Mid-Spring/Early Summer...hoodie and shorts featuring flops...light t-shirt + jeans featuring flops...there is nothing better. I would never survive in the Yukon Territory.
(Speaking of jeans) I had a notion the other day at 'Overtime', a pub near my Smithtown home. 97% of the people there on this particular Friday night were wearing denim jeans; all different shades of blue. Since when did jeans corner the market for the planet? Does anybody else think it's strange that jeans seem to be the only option for people off the clock (myself included)? If I remember correctly, greasers in the 50's were rocking jeans, so I guess they are to blame. You never hear about jeans in the 30's or 40's. Just an unimportant, not exactly funny observation.
I haven't exactly reached Madoff numbers yet, but I'm trying. Until then, enjoy these pictures of New York City during St. Patty's Day.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Thoughts from the lunch break
I'm in the News 12 Interactive offices in Woodbury eating fresh pineapple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Some thoughts:
- Sean Avery returns to the New York Rangers after being released by Dallas. It should be interesting to see how MSG and opposing players react to this development. If it were up to me, he would have been a blueshirt at the beginning of the season.
- I decided to submit my resume to NBC for their 'news associate' year-long program. It would be 'the dream'. I would mentored and assistant to an NBC NEWS reporter. They will probably get 100,000 resumes but you have to be in it to win it.
- Kids are getting hipper. A blonde I know told me that she saw a bunch of 5-year-olds skateboarding while blackberrying the other day. They had hair product and were listening to 'Shiny Toy Guns'. When I was 5, my life was Cris Cross Crash.
- I've been getting printed in Newsday in the Part II section every two weeks through the 'Futurecorps' program. If you subscribe or see a Newsday, you should probably check it out.
- Derek Downing gets married in T-Minus 4 days. Unbelievable. Seems like only yesterday we were going stag to the junior prom in a stretch '57 Chevy. Good Luck, D-Block. You too, Janine.
- Daniel Day Lewis is the greatest actor of my generation.
- I don't know one person that saw Slumdog Millionare.
- My men's league ice hockey team stinks. It's tough times for the Knights. We have a core of committed players (myself included). But all of our superstars only show up when it's convenient for them. Who cares if the games are at 2AM in Kings Park? Where's your heart at. Follow the knights at www.midnighthockey.com
- Spring is practically hours away and their is 14 feet of snow on the ground. Heavy snow, not the powdered sugar type. Here I am with sunblock on my nose and a corona...I step outside with my umbrella and beach ball...and it's snowing. All I want is some flops on my feet and 212 degrees Kelvin in the air. I'm sorry to say but I am pro-global warming.
Top 3 types of Pizza
- Buffalo Chicken with Bleu Cheese
- White
- Sausage/Roni
- Phish plays their first show in five years on Friday, March 6 at the Hampton Coliseum in Virginia.
I have to get back to work. Enjoy your week and remember:
Sometimes you shine the box, sometimes the box shines you.
- Sean Avery returns to the New York Rangers after being released by Dallas. It should be interesting to see how MSG and opposing players react to this development. If it were up to me, he would have been a blueshirt at the beginning of the season.
- I decided to submit my resume to NBC for their 'news associate' year-long program. It would be 'the dream'. I would mentored and assistant to an NBC NEWS reporter. They will probably get 100,000 resumes but you have to be in it to win it.
- Kids are getting hipper. A blonde I know told me that she saw a bunch of 5-year-olds skateboarding while blackberrying the other day. They had hair product and were listening to 'Shiny Toy Guns'. When I was 5, my life was Cris Cross Crash.
- I've been getting printed in Newsday in the Part II section every two weeks through the 'Futurecorps' program. If you subscribe or see a Newsday, you should probably check it out.
- Derek Downing gets married in T-Minus 4 days. Unbelievable. Seems like only yesterday we were going stag to the junior prom in a stretch '57 Chevy. Good Luck, D-Block. You too, Janine.
- Daniel Day Lewis is the greatest actor of my generation.
- I don't know one person that saw Slumdog Millionare.
- My men's league ice hockey team stinks. It's tough times for the Knights. We have a core of committed players (myself included). But all of our superstars only show up when it's convenient for them. Who cares if the games are at 2AM in Kings Park? Where's your heart at. Follow the knights at www.midnighthockey.com
- Spring is practically hours away and their is 14 feet of snow on the ground. Heavy snow, not the powdered sugar type. Here I am with sunblock on my nose and a corona...I step outside with my umbrella and beach ball...and it's snowing. All I want is some flops on my feet and 212 degrees Kelvin in the air. I'm sorry to say but I am pro-global warming.
Top 3 types of Pizza
- Buffalo Chicken with Bleu Cheese
- White
- Sausage/Roni
- Phish plays their first show in five years on Friday, March 6 at the Hampton Coliseum in Virginia.
I have to get back to work. Enjoy your week and remember:
Sometimes you shine the box, sometimes the box shines you.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Tom Renney gets the big ugly ax
It seems like everyone is losing their jobs these days. Renney has now been added to that list after a 5 year career as the Rangers head coach. The news came Monday afternoon after a awful stretch of hockey for the Blueshirts. Why did Tom Renney lose his job:
1) No offense. What Tom had to work with was a team of young grinders and older playmakers. Who are the guys that are going to put the puck in the net? Where are the natural goal scorers? Oh wait. They are playing in Siberia. (Jagr, Straka)
2) One of the worst powerplay operations in hockey history. Nothing infuriates fans and boosts opponents confidence like the debacle that is the Rangers powerplay. Renny and Perry Pearn never figured out how to adjust. (I won't even mention the 13 shorthanded goals already given up this year...)
3) New York City was calling for his head. The pressure of performing on the world's largest and greatest stage took its toll. Once you start getting booed and confidence among core fans is gone, it's almost always time to ship out. (Ask Tom Poti, Marek Malik and soon to be Michael Rozival)
As a former season-ticket holder for the NYR during the Renney years, I never had a problem with him at all. He is fourth all-time for wins as a Ranger coach. He was the most liked coach since Mike Keenan of 1994. He was laid back and played Neil Diamond for the team after wins. I met him at Casino Night 2008 briefly in passing:
"Hey Tom, section 409. You're doin a good job."
"409, I have to have a beer with you guys sometime."
"That would be nice. Good luck."
"We'll get it done."
I think Renney got the short end of the Sather stick. They shouldn't have let Jagr, Straka, Shanahan or Sean Avery out of the Big Apple and Renney paid the price.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
For Derek Downing...
I forgot where we were but we saw this Allen Iverson commercial a few years ago. We might have been in the Matrix at the time. But it's the hardest commercial to ever hit television. Enjoy.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Christian Bale: The Coolest Man in America
Unless you have been on Neptune for the last five days, the best piece of media to hit the interwebs has been the four and half minute Christian Bale meltdown toward his Director of Photography on the set of 'Terminator Salvation', the fourth installment of the epic series. I'm guessing Bale plays John Connor, leader of the rebellion against the machines; a role made famous by Edward Furlong in T2 (and the kid that gets clapped in American History X, spoiler alert). Anyway, this is unbelievable audio. It's everything you want to hear in a obscenity laced rant (threats of bodily harm, sarcasm, condescending questions, etc). Personally, I agree with him. Nobody likes it when some guy is milling around during a scene. Bale is in-charge of making this movie a multi-million dollar success and its a lot of pressure. This is so funny, I can't bring myself to say that he's just a rich dick.
Enjoy.
P.S. There are 39 F***s
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Who wants to go to Tenneessee? June 11-14
Official festival website is www. bonnaroo. com2009
Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival Confirmed Artists:
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street BandPhish (2 Shows)Beastie BoysNine Inch NailsDavid ByrneWilcoAl GreenSnoop DoggElvis Costello SoloErykah BaduPaul OakenfoldBen Harper and Relentless7The Mars VoltaTV on the RadioYeah Yeah YeahsGov’t MuleAndrew BirdMerle HaggardMGMTmoe.The DecemberistsGirl TalkBon IverBéla Fleck & Toumani DiabateRodrigo y GabrielaGalacticThe Del McCoury Bandof MontrealAllen ToussaintCoheed and CambriaBooker T & the DBTsDavid Grisman QuintetLucinda WilliamsAnimal CollectiveGomezNeko CaseDownJenny LewisSantogoldRobert Earl KeenCitizen CopeFemi Kuti and the Positive ForceThe Ting TingsRobyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3Grace Potter and the NocturnalsKaki KingGrizzly BearKing Sunny AdéOkkervil RiverSt. VincentZac Brown BandRaphael SaadiqTed Leo and the PharmacistsCrystal CastlesTift MerrittBrett DennenMike Farris and the Roseland Rhythm RevueToubab KrewePeople Under the StairsAlejandro EscovedoVieux Farka TouréElvis Perkins In DearlandCherryholmesYeasayer
P.S. I'm sorry if this is becoming a music/phish blog. That's the last thing I want. I'll tell a story or two soon.
Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival Confirmed Artists:
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street BandPhish (2 Shows)Beastie BoysNine Inch NailsDavid ByrneWilcoAl GreenSnoop DoggElvis Costello SoloErykah BaduPaul OakenfoldBen Harper and Relentless7The Mars VoltaTV on the RadioYeah Yeah YeahsGov’t MuleAndrew BirdMerle HaggardMGMTmoe.The DecemberistsGirl TalkBon IverBéla Fleck & Toumani DiabateRodrigo y GabrielaGalacticThe Del McCoury Bandof MontrealAllen ToussaintCoheed and CambriaBooker T & the DBTsDavid Grisman QuintetLucinda WilliamsAnimal CollectiveGomezNeko CaseDownJenny LewisSantogoldRobert Earl KeenCitizen CopeFemi Kuti and the Positive ForceThe Ting TingsRobyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3Grace Potter and the NocturnalsKaki KingGrizzly BearKing Sunny AdéOkkervil RiverSt. VincentZac Brown BandRaphael SaadiqTed Leo and the PharmacistsCrystal CastlesTift MerrittBrett DennenMike Farris and the Roseland Rhythm RevueToubab KrewePeople Under the StairsAlejandro EscovedoVieux Farka TouréElvis Perkins In DearlandCherryholmesYeasayer
P.S. I'm sorry if this is becoming a music/phish blog. That's the last thing I want. I'll tell a story or two soon.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Harry Hood and UFO's
Trey Anastasio of 'Phish' wrote Harry Hood because there was a huge HOOD sign across the street from his apartment in the late 80's. It read: "You can feel good about Hood," and if you have drank milk in the last 100 years or been to a grocery store, you have seen Hood gallons before. So, I won this Myspace/Youtube contest and The McLovin's learned and practiced 'Harry Hood' in Bob Doda's honor. If you can't stand Phish, fast forward to the very end to hear the shout out I get. Honestly, it's a thrill.Check it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ro4YQpa3NRs - The McLovin's - Harry Hood
Original post in Digibook I: http://digibook3000.blogspot.com/2009/01/my-15-minutes-will-come-in-8-years.html
Let's talk Obama UFO for 2 seconds.... 
First watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P68N6OpoaN4&feature=related
Now, I feel the same way Mulder did on the X-Files... I want to believe. I think this is staggering footage. Some theories I have heard:
1) It's a bird.
2) CNN made this themselves to create internet traffic at a time when competition between networks is tooth and nail.....especially on Inauguration Day.
3) It's little green god damn men.
If you have any other theories be my guest to comment. What a fascinating story it would be if it were real.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Top 5 Verbal Questions and Comments That Snowy Responds To
5. "Whose a snowbird? Whose a bird?"
4. "Is that you're ball? Whose ball is that? Where's your ball? That's my ball."
3. "Yoouuuu beeetttterrr stttaaaayyy iinnn thheerree (her cage/bed)"
2. "Where's your leash??"
1. "Go to bed"
Google screwed me
Here's what happened.
I created my original blog with a Yahoo account but about 2 weeks ago, they would only allow google accounts to sign into Blogger. Either I'm an Internet spaz, or google screwed me.
So welcome to the new Digibook with a new look. Here is a link to my old blog. I'll be posting later tonight the 'Top 5 Verbal Things Snowy (dog) Responds To'.
http://www.digibook3000.blogspot.com
I created my original blog with a Yahoo account but about 2 weeks ago, they would only allow google accounts to sign into Blogger. Either I'm an Internet spaz, or google screwed me.
So welcome to the new Digibook with a new look. Here is a link to my old blog. I'll be posting later tonight the 'Top 5 Verbal Things Snowy (dog) Responds To'.
http://www.digibook3000.blogspot.com
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