Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Proximity God-Bless-You's
I stick with a more succinct ‘bless you’ response when faced with a neighboring sneeze. Why do I get offended when someone ignores my sneeze? Why do I get madder if someone is closer in proximity to a sneezer but neglects to say anything? Where does that leave me? There is a threshold when it comes to these automated responses. My threshold is a 15 foot radius. If you are sneezing in my radius, you can be damn well sure I will acknowledge it. Outside of that radius, you’re on your own. Thank you.
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In a related note, I've come to expect proximity hand jobs from hot chicks. If you are within a 5 foot radius, have a nice thin waist, magnificient breasts, and a good sense of humor, I expect to get a happy ending.
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